Bedstemor

Bedstemor redefined the word, "redemption", for me. It gives a voice to the crushed, the mundane, the overlooked. I have always known that God redeems, but never did I fully comprehend that he redeems not because he has pity on us or must be charitable because humanity requires him to. He redeems because we are worth the ransom, worthy to be bought back, worth the payment. I saw a bit of myself in every single character of the book, and it was only because Bedstemor was so richly and deeply written. There were many times, that a particular event or feeling was brought to mind that was stuffed somewhere deep in my subconscious. This book had a way of drawing these recollections out and lay them open and raw for God to redeem and recover them. No one's story is too boring, too humdrum, or too uninteresting. Regardless of your story, whether it's closer to Anni's, Mor's, Andrew's, or Far's, it's a "Life Worth Sharing"!

I wrote this review after reading my friend's first novel, Bedstemor, which means grandmother in Danish.  I met with Esther Hawkins for a cup of tea, late one evening, after the kids were tucked into bed.  We chatted about our kindergartners and what the coming week held and then plopped down in cozy armchairs by the warm light of a table lamp to discuss her story, Anni's story. 

"It all started 12 years ago, while I was in England for a visit with my Mum and Dad, all of us piled into the car to take a short weekend getaway trip to a nearby cottage.  On the way back home, my Mum began telling stories of when she was a little girl, growing up on an old coal barge with no electricity or plumbing.  All three of us, her adult children, sat in the back seat, in silence, jaws dropped to the floor.  I thought to myself, I'm 22 years old, why have I never heard these memories before?"    

She pressed her mother to write the stories down so she could share them with her own children someday.  But then life and death happened...Esther married... then became pregnant with her first child...Grandad passed away...and the stories still hadn't met paper yet.  She then had a dream where she waved to her grandfather who was happily gardening and then turned around to see Bedstemor coming down a flight of stairs.  She ran up the steps to meet her in the middle, collapsed into her arms, and began weeping.  She awoke still shaking and sobbing; grieving for her Bedstemor, not for her death, but grieving for the relationship that never was.  "I was 15 years old when Bedstemor died, but I only saw her a total of four times in my life, once when I was just a newborn." 

 
After the dream, she prodded her mother for more stories, so she could gather them up and compile them to give as holiday or birthday gifts.  She began e-mailing her with a question or two and then eagerly anticipated her response.  This went on for about a year, resulting in a few pages of questions and answers that she planned on turning into a historical account for the family. 

In the Summer of 2009, she went back to the mother land for a visit.  And again, late one night, cozied into armchairs, cups of tea in hand, in the warm light that seeped under a lampshade, began a conversation with her Aunt Liz, the youngest of Bedstemor's children.  In that conversation, she acquired a different viewpoint of her grandmother that she knew so little of.  When Esther returned home, she wasn't sure how she would tell Bedstemor's story or how to illustrate who she was. 

 

Over the next several months, Esther continued collecting information about her grandmother's life and began organizing those notes into chronological order.  And then life and death happened... She was pleasantly surprised when she found out she was expecting a third child and profoundly changed when she never heard the sound of her baby's heartbeat. 

While grieving the loss of life, she had a vision of herself opening a book  to read the first line..."I was five when it started...".  She knew then that her humdrum documentation of her grandmother was actually meant to be an inspired novel.  Each time she sat down in front of the computer screen, she asked God to tell her what to write and to show her when to write.  There were times she went an entire month without writing, but when she finally got a chance, she would write up to 12,000 words in just three hours.  What should have taken her three months to accomplish, took a mere nap time.  During these supernaturally charged writing flurries, she would read back through paragraphs and find herself looking up definitions of the words she just typed.  As each chapter took shape, she didn't know what the next  one would hold. 

Her due date of the miscarried child was fast approaching and when it arrived, she was preparing herself for the emptiness to swallow her up.  On that very day, she found out there was a new life growing within her.  Two years later to the date, Esther Hawkins had completed her first novel.  She never imagined it would be the answer to her question, "How can a tragic life that has already ended, be redeemed?" 

If you would like to read the answer to that question for yourself, you can find Bedstemor at Amazon.  You can also follow Esther on Facebook at LifeWorth Sharing  and on Twitter @EstherEHawkins.